what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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