put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
