Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize