come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
