pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
