When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
