just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
