Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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