I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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