Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
