he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
