Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
