If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
