If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
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do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
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Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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