i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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