May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
We named our party play list daddy issues
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I am mentally ready for anal.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
