Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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