i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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