Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
