One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize