u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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