my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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