you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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