where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
