My entire life is one complicated drinking game
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
we're so committed to being not committed
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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