i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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