I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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