Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize