once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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