i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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