you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
