Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
