There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I AM VODKA MAN
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Randomize