He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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