My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
