I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
