I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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