Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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