I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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