Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
