I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize