3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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