Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
