Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
