Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
