i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
