I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
