I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I need moral support for this bender
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
