He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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