any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
