At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
