ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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