I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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