why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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