I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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