there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
