my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
